The Inane Rants of a Psychopathic Madman

Fuck The Bear.

2007-01-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, but there isn't really anything new going on. I'm still playing Oblivion religiously (among other things). The only real new thing is i don't really give a fuck about that (person) i had been talking about on the past few posts. She showed me how much she cared (wich wasn't much) so i just said "fuck it". I don't really give a fuck about anything or anyone these days. Seeing as how the only people who really seem to care are Nathan and Nicole why should i give a fuck about anything else? So i'm moving away some time after summer. I can't deal with this fucking town anymore and i can't deal with the people who live here. Fuck this place, I'm never going to find what im looking for in this hell hole so why should i stay?

Peace out Fuckers.
Skippy.

A bad week with a new addition.

2006-12-01T00:52:00.000-07:00

So i got a Xbox 360 for my birthday (its absolutely amazing). I've been playing Oblivion all fucking week. Logged over 40 hours in 4 days, what a sad life I live. Even though with all this dopeness im still in a shitty situation. Gotta pay rent tomorrow and i think i might get screwed again and on top of that im dealing with girl depression. Sometimes i think i might just go gay just so i didnt have to deal with "them". But my desire to NOT get a cock shoved up my ass outweighs that annoyance. Anyways, this person of "infatuation" is driving me crazy, off the wall in fact. I should just stop talking about that cause it may cause confusion and dissaray.

Because i have nothing better to do i will tell you all about my badass character in Oblivion.

Name: Narthiel "The Dark-Stalker"
Race: Dark Elf
Class: Battle Rogue
Level (current): 20
Character Description: Born in the Urshilaku camp in the realm of Vvardenfell, Narthiel spent the early years of his life as a simple fisherman. His life went quite normally till the day the Nevarine prophecies came true and the Nevarine himself visted his lonley camp. From this day fowrad Narthiel knew he wanted something more from his life, he wanted to go on adventures and battle creatures he'd only heard of in the ledgends and tales of his forefathers. So he sold all of his earthly belongings and left the only place he'd ever known. After traveling his homeland and seeing all that there was to see, he took a vessel to the fabled Province of Cryrodill. This was a new and strange place to him, in his land the Dark Elves were the most common race of beings. In this place he was a minority, looked down upon by the filthy race of men.

One night, Narthiel entered a tarvern in the Imperial City. There was human there who obviously didn't take much liking to Dark Elves. The man proceeded to taunt and hassle Narthiel till he could take no more. A fight broke out and in a fit of rage Narthiel drew his dagger and slit his throat. Soon there after a group of guards came and too him to the imperial prison. He was charged with murder and sentenced to a life in the dungeon...

If you havent played Oblivion, this is where the game really starts. I just decided to write that little backstory for him. Well, thats about enough.

So fucking angry.

2006-11-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

Im so fucking pissed off right now. I dont have any fucking video games to play. My xbox is totally fucked and i cant play my Ps2 for more than 30 minutes without it overheating. Im prolly not gonna get a 360 for my birthday. I'll get like 2 kinda crappy presents. I'ts not like im really "complaining" about it, im just dissapointed that i wont get anything really cool for my 18th birthday. Its gonna be a shitty birthday (like all of my birthdays). I'll end up spending the whole day sitting around my room doing nothing, like every day of my fucking life. Maybe i should just work all day so i wont have to deal with being depressed. I wish i could just work every waking moment of my life so i didnt have to deal with anything. Im really fucking depressed and there isnt anything i can do to fix it. I never thought that i would be stuck in the same damn hole by the time i was 18. I thought things would be better, but they aren't.

I was thinking about what my dad said the other day "you're never going to college and you are a complete failure" and its totally true. I am a failure, i'm never going to amount to anything. I'll spend the rest of my life working shitty jobs and barley scraping by. It makes me want to join the army so i can just die without any remorse. Im not smart, i dont have any redeeming qualities and I look like someone smashed a brick on my face. Im a worthless shell of a human. All of my friends try to tell me im worth something but i know they just say that to be nice. If there is one thing im not completley oblivious of its who i am as a person. So dont ever think you can convince me im worth a shit. Im going to be permanently depressed for the rest of my life and there is nothing that could change that. Well, there is but it would never happen.

If only it were this easy.

2006-11-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

Haha, i envy that kid. Especially after the shit day i just had. First off, i was supossed to finish my GED today but i got called into work. My dad is fucking furious with me cause he thinks im just lying to him. This morning before i left he told me "you're never going to get your GED and you're never going to college, you are a complete failure". Really good thing to hear from your own father. Then when i get to work i find that i only made $150 on my paycheck, great... Im $50 short, again. My dad is gonna fucking kill me when he finds out, he'll most likley kick me out of the house. I cant afford my own place right now, so im pretty much fucked all around. Just my luck, huh? It looks like my life will eternally be in the shitter.

Its been more than a year since the last time i had sex, I lost the most important girl in my whole life to my best friend (something that i have come to terms with), I work all the fucking time but i really dont see anything from it and to top it all off there is a person i am completley infatuated with and there isnt shit i can do about it. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

No real topic to speak of.

2006-11-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

Haha, funny picture huh? I have no real thing to post about so i guess i'll just tell you what i did today. Woke up at 6 am and realized i was out of soap when i got in the shower, good way to start a day. Then i went to work at 7, first day in at least a month when i didnt have to work on prep at all. Wich was very good cause prep is boring. So i was on helm station all day, to those who don't know what that is. The helmer is the person on the line who organizes and plates all of the food, so you're pretty much running the whole line. It was tight, i had some problems with the new recipie for the Southwest BBQ salad though. But besides that it was a pretty good day at the Egg & I. So i got off at 3 pm and went home, took another shower for some reason then went to work at Silver Mine at 5. Pretty average night there, i got like $11 in tips, Cigarette money! Yay! It took me like an hour to get home though, plus its windy as fuck so that didn't help much.

Only 18 days till my birthday, FUCK YEAH! Everything is coming together (sinister laugh). I've pretty much invited everyone i'd like to come get fucked up at my house and i hope they all come. I might get a keg of ska or something, we'll see. And if everything goes the way i'd like it to this girl i talk to online from greeley will come. But lets not talk about that, i'm allready lame enough as it is. Starting to feel better about everything for the moment, I actually had a good talk with Nicole the other night wich was very ccol. I was able to tell her how i felt about her and Nathan being together (wich were all good things) and she told me that it made her very relived cause appearntly she's been waiting for me to put in my two cents to the whole situation. Allright, done with typing for now, need to go smoke. Peace out Fuckers.

Lots of work for skippy.

2006-11-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

So i have two jobs now, I work at The Egg & I and Silver Mine Subs. I wish it didnt have to end up like this, but it did. I got tired of not having my rent on time and i figured since i have so much fucking free time i should just fill that with work. So now im working 6 days a week and it feels good i guess. I wont really have time for fun but i dont really have "fun" that much anymore so i dont really give a shit. I do feel this will impede my quest to find an awesome girl but there wasn't much of a chance that would happen anyways.

My birthday is in 22 days, THANK GOD! I'll finally be 18. Its kinda weird being younger than pretty much all of my friends. I always felt like i was "that weird little kid" in the circle. Even though I have the responsibilities of a person much older than i am. I still felt like i didnt fit in because of my age. But i guess i've finally caught up. I'm not quite sure whats going to happen on the 25th (my birthday) but i hope its cool. My last birthday was kinda lame but thats mainly because of the fact that the "circle" was broken at that point and all the homies were either gone or not friends with me at the time. But now everyone is hanging out again and we're all on pretty good terms. So hopefully it will be a good day. I feel like something good is coming my way and what better day for it to happen than my 18th birthday. We'll see i guess.

A GIG OF FUCKING SLAYER!

2006-10-27T19:21:00.000-06:00

I've done it, i have amassed an entire gigabyte of Slayer, All of the studio, live and tribute albums. And since i have nothing better to do with my life i am going to catalogue all of these albums.

Studio Albums (in chronological order).

1. Show No Mercy (1983)
2. Haunting The Chapel (1984)
3. Hell Awaits (1985)
4. Reign in Blood (1986)
5. South Of Heaven (1988)
6. Seasons In The Abyss (1990)
7. Divine Intervention (1994)
8. Undisputed Attitute (1996)
9. Diablous in Musica (1998)
10. God Hates Us All (2001)
11. Christ Illusion (2006)

Live Albums (incomplete)

1. Satans Children (1983)
2. Live Undead (1984)
3. War at the Warfield (2003)
4. Still Reigning (2004)

Compilations

1. Decade Of Aggression (1991)
2. Soundtrack To the Apocalypse (2003)

Ok, its not fully complete but a fucking gig of slayer, come on now. You have to give me props for that.

Sitting here, not at my house.

2006-10-16T15:09:00.000-06:00

Ughh, what a fucking terrible weekend. I worked way too much and it sucked. On saturday i spent an entire 8 hour shift working on the egg station (wich is a 500 degree griddle) working my fucking ass off and i only got one 5 minute break all fucking day. It was just simply awful. Sunday wasn't nearly as bad though i just worked prep all day but it still sucked. I did play D&D last night though, it was fucking sweet. Im a level 5 chaotic-good sorcerer and i wreck shit. My magic missle does 5 d4 damage + 5 and its ridiculous. I do way more damage than anyone else in my party. Anyways, im still feeling pretty shitty (about everything) and it sucks...alot. The worst part is i cant really figure out what my fucking problem is and its driving me crazy. Maybe im just naturally depressed all the freaking time and thats just the way i am. Haha. I tried to not complain too much on this blog but i cant really help it, i have alot of shit to complain about. Im at junes house right now with June Kira and Cory, we attempted to get drunk last night but i failed. Alex and Vanessa were hanging out with us last night too, SO WEIRD! I never thought i would see June and Vanessa talking and getting along so well, it was just very strange. I feel like im constantly in a fucking tornado of my friends drama and none of it is really my problem. I dont have any drama in my life right now and thats sweet. Well thats about enough complaining for today. Peace out Fuckers.

Fucking Cockass!

2006-10-10T19:18:00.000-06:00

Another shit day, not suprising though. I am so fucking pissed off at my kitchen manager, he's such a fucking idiot. All day long he's breaking pancakes and eggs, i feel like i have to tell the guy what to do about every 30 seconds and he's my fucking manager! The dude just has no idea how to run a kitchen and it's really pissing me off. Im supossed to hang out with Nathan tonight, i doubt thats going to happen though. He always says he's going to chill with me and it never happens and if it does i only ever see the kid for like 30 minutes. It's just strange that we used to hang out almost every day a matter of months ago and now i never see him. Maybe im just freaking out, i know he's really busy all the time but i think the reason why we dont really chill anymore is because of... well im not going to name names but you should know who im talking about. Argh, i wish it was tomorrow so i could watch the new episode of South Park. I saw a commercial for it and it seems like its going to be ridiculous. These guys are going to talk about the 9/11 conspiracy. Only south park would have the balls to do such a thing. And you know who else has the balls to do such a thing? Me. I've been working on what i guess you could call an "essay" on the events that took place on 9/11, its not done yet but as soon as it is i will post it on this blog so be prepared for the truth.

My two selves.

2006-10-06T14:25:00.000-06:00

I dont know if anyone is really aware of this but the person that i am today is a combination of two other people and those people are Andrew and Skippy. They dont really have anything in common (as far as behavior goes) but they have mixed to create who i am at this very moment. Andrew is who i was before i came to boulder. He's quiet, shy, passive and has a complete lack of self-confidence... So pretty much he's just a little whiney pussy. Now Skippy is a different story, i guess that personality devolped because i had been pushed around and thrown away my whole life and i didnt want that anymore. So skippy is straight-foward, aggressive, obnoxious, loud and just a general asshole. Allthough still lacking in self-confidence. And i guess these two "identities" have crossed paths and became who i am at this moment. Even though they still have their individual voices and opinions about life. I know this all must sound really fucked up, but its totally how i feel. Now i guess the trick in being two different people at the same time is balancing the feelings and emotions i get from both of them all the time. It's not easy, in fact its very fucking hard. If anyone ever wonders why im so fucking strange and unstable all the time, thats why. I figure some day both of them will just shut the fuck up and quit sending me mixed messages all the time. Im a really fucked up kid (if you didnt allready know that) and there isn't a whole lot i can do about it. Thats about enough of this post, i feel like my brain is about to explode so im gonna go smoke. Or maybe i should say we're gonna go smoke.

Self Esteem and Lost Friends

2006-10-05T12:08:00.000-06:00

Recently it has been brought to my attention that im not quite a ugly as previously thought. Wich is strange because my whole life I've been told that im Ugly, Fugly even Pug-Fugley. And now all the sudden im not (according to trusted sources). I thought maybe they were just being nice but I was looking in my mirror the other day and I actually believe it. Which is crazy because I've never thought that my entire life. Its like I just injected 1000 mg of self esteem directly to my bloodstream. But what am I supposed to do with this new found "attractiveness"? I don't know how to meet girls, whenever I try to spark a conversation with some strange girl it usually pans out like this "Uhhh....So yeah....uhh" know what I mean? I'll need some kind of formal training or something like that. I guess I'll just continue existing and we'll see what happens.

Sorry, but I have more shit to complain about. The "friends list" is growing shorter by the day. It seems like the only people I really see or hang out with anymore are June, Cory, Kira and Alex. And im not really complaining about it (because those are really awesome people) im just slightly disappointed in a couple "friends". Namely Nathan and Nicole. First off, I knew it was bullshit when Nicole said she wanted to be "best friends" with me. I know that girl way too well for her to get away with that kind of shit. She never calls me, and when I ask her if she wants to hang out she kind of gives some half-asked excuse and you know what? I could really give a shit. Obviously she doesn't want to be friends with me and if that's her decision that's totally fine with me. Nathan on the other hand, he's just crazy. I never have any idea what that kid is up to 3/4 of the time he doesn't pick up my calls and whatever I know he's busy and shit all the time but I would at least like to hang out with him for more than an hour. Well, that's about enough bullshitting for me. I'll probably get in trouble for what I just wrote but I don't give a fuck.

MC Chris, you are the shit.

2006-10-03T17:06:00.000-06:00

Never has there been a man who so perfectly captures, in music, all the things I love. From Boba Fett to unrequited love. From wiid to robotussin. From Superheros to Hip-Hop. You name it. He writes a rhyme about it, I love it. He has brought an entire generation of geeks/nerds/gamers together. I must admit that I've always had a backlash to the mainstream. Once things become popular or someone blows up, I can't help but to begin to dislike it. MC is the exception. He made number nine on the Hip-Hop charts and I'm fucking excited. He's making all the things we love, cool. Let the corporations dig in. Let CEO's all over the country tackle the project of making things that I'll like. Pour billions into making more comic book movies! Fucking-a, I love it.

Far more important than that he makes damn good music. Cookie Breath could be one of the best songs ever written. Shit that everyone can relate to . I have been to so many shows in my life and I've never seen so many people having a better time than at an MC show. That's fucking magic.

Thank you MC.

I generally dont this, but right now it just seems right.

2006-10-02T21:09:00.000-06:00

I know its real lame posting song lyrics but this is the definition of life imitating art so i have to throw it up.

"Why cant she make up her fucking mind
i'm just here wasting so much time
i know its not my fault its not my problem anymore

Some day mabye she'll come back to me and i'll say
why dont you go fuck yourself
everybody's talking, they know that i'm lieing
she gave me everything, all i want is more

Yeah i wrote this song for her
but it wont make up for anything
i know its too late, so why do i worry
its not my problem anymore."

Reel Big Fish, "All i want is more"

Anyone who knows me knows what this is about, and its exactly what i feel.

To you, My friend.

2006-10-02T03:40:00.000-06:00

How do i start this? I guess the best way to put it is. There has only ever been one person in my life who i felt i could trust with all of my feelings and secrects and that person is my very good friend June. Me and that girl have been through alot and when i say alot i mean ALOT. She is the most awesome and caring individual i have ever known and will probobly ever know. I have seen that girl pour every bit of her time and energy into her friends well being and that amazes me. It makes me feel like a bad person in a way beacause i could never put that much time and effort into making other people happy. But thats why June is the shit and will always be the shit. I could never explain to anybody the level of love and respect i have for her. It's like asking me why Boba Fett is the coolest character in Star Wars, there are too many awesome things to even begin listing. I look back sometimes and think what i would have done without her, she has seen me through so much shit, its fucking ridiculous. I've seen her through a fair amount of shit too, a big pile of shit in fact. But we've always stuck by eachother and neither of us ever show signs of giving up. If there is one friendship i could have for the rest of my life its with her.

I really hope you're reading this because this goes right to you. You saved my life dude, if it wasn't for you i would most definitely be dead right now and that wouldn't be good for anyone. I know you're going through some tough shit right now but if there's ever anyone who will always be there for you, its me. Thats a fucking promise dude. Well, i dont really have much more to say but this, I love you.

(P.S "I want a girl with a T-shirt and some... socks")

J4ck B4u3r 1s t3h m4d p1mpz0rz!!!

2006-10-02T00:54:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the random crappy MS paint thing, i got really bored. Anyways i dont really have any sort of "topic" for this post cause its really late and my brain isn't functioning at its full capacity. So anyways im sitting here, watching adult swim and i think to myself...wow, Squidbillies sucks and 12 oz. Mouse is a pile of crap and Tom Goes to the Mayor just plain doesn't make sense...like at all. What happened to you adult swim? Im not saying there isnt quality programming on adult swim, its just sometimes they put shit on there that really isn't good. Allthough adult swim has always had a few shows that sucked like... Mission Hill, It has its moments but i rarley ever find it funny. And who could forget Super Milk Chan? Well... lets just not go into that. What im saying is, it seems like there has been a very heavy infulx of crappy shows on adult swim and im not in favor of it. I would like to write more but im just way too lazy so thats it for tonight. Peace out fuckers.

Sitting here, watching Star Trek.

2006-09-29T13:17:00.000-06:00

God, daytime T.V can suck my balls. Execpt one thing... 5 hours of trek every day, lol. From 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM my life is a little better, 2 episodes of DS9 and 3 episodes of TNG. What more could a geek ask for? Heh, its not like i enjoy all episodes of Trek though, for such an awesome series of shows there are ALOT of really crappy episodes. For example "Spocks Brain" or "Shades Of Gray" the episode im watching right now and since im really bored im gonna complain about this paticular episode.

The episode begins with Riker and Geordi and some other fools (i dont remember) going to this strange planet for some stupid reason. Anyways, Riker gets stung by this alien bug thing and he goes into a coma so Dr. Pulaski and Troi have to like help him out of his coma by sending him "good dreams" (yeah its really stupid). So anyways the episode quickly turns into a clip show of the last 2 seasons. The really stupid thing is, they are trying to evoke good memories in rikers mind, but it shows clips that Riker wasn't even in. Eventually they figure out how to stop the poison from spreading and its a really bad ending to a really bad episode. I think one of the reasons why this episode was so fucking bad is because it had alot of Dr. Pulaski (to those who aren't familiar with her, she replaced Dr. Crusher in season 2 for some reason) and she sucks. Well, thats about it for now. Peace out fuckers.

I Tried, I Tried real hard.

2006-09-29T00:57:00.000-06:00

Eh, what is there to say? Shit is real confusing right now and i have no fucking idea what the fuck im going to do. Im really concerned about June and her situation and I feel really bad for Cory. But what the hell am i going to do about it? I have too much shit on my plate right now to really even deal with it. Things with (the girl) are okay i guess, we've had a few talks and i get the feeling like things might end up working out. Things could be worse i guess. I am pretty happy about one thing though, Kira wants to hang out with me on satuday and play N64 and get drunk. Its pretty badass, i've known her for quite a long time (2 years i think) and we've always got along pretty well and shit, but we never really hang out so im looking foward to kicking it with her. I tried to go without complaining too much on this new blog, but whatever. I need to vent and i guess this is one of the better outlets to do so. So fuck you.

Sweet Concerts To Come

2006-09-28T14:21:00.000-06:00

So there are alot of sweet Metal shows coming up soon, Its not likley that ill go to all of them but i would really really like to. Here's a list of all the shows i'd like to go to.

1. Children Of Bodom 11/12/06 At the Ogden
2. GWAR 11/3/06 At the Ogden
3. The Black Dahlia Murder 10/4/06 At the Ogden
4. Blind Guardian 11/18/06 At the Gothic

Thats it for now, its too bad they're all happening all at once. I have to go see COB and i have to go see GWAR. But we'll see, my birthday is coming up (November 25th) and i might get some extra money for shows and crap.

2006-09-28T11:46:00.000-06:00

I've been playing alot of N64 games recently, mainly because my Xbox is broken and i cant afford new Ps2 games. So i decided to get cheap used N64 games. So far i have this.

1. Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2. Super Mario 64
3. Star Wars: Shadows Of The Empire
4. Banjo-Kazooie
5. Starfox 64
6. Donkey Kong 64

And thats about it, so far. I just started playing Banjo-Kazooie, sweet game. I had forgotten that Rareware made some of the sickest games for that system. The game has fun gameplay, a good story and pretty good graphics, Seeing as how the game was made in 1997. Wow, that was almost 10 years ago and i remember getting that shit off the counter when i was like 8 and shit.

Even though i allready have most of the sickest games made for N64 i still have more to collect and they go as follows.

1. Super Smash Bros. 64
2. Mario Kart 64
3. Goldeneye
4. Perfect Dark
5. Duke Nukem 64
6. Gauntlet Legends
7. Gex 64
8. ect.

Yeah, so thats it. I also need to get 3 more controllers but i refuse to get thoose shitty 3rd party controllers. I need the real N64 controllers. The issue is, i cant find any of them anywhere. So if anyone reads this (wich you probobly dont) i would really appreciate one of thoose. im willing to spend.... $35 on each (if they are in good condition) Well, thats about enough for today. Peace.

2006-09-27T13:50:00.000-06:00

Since i assume this is expected of me, im making my first post about...who else? The Fett man. The other day i was wondering why there has never been a official Boba Fett video game. What kind of world do we live in? I mean, they make games based on movies like "The Davinci Code" and they make games featuring "The Olsen Twins". But never a Boba Fett game? What the fuck is wrong with Lucasfilm? Boba Fett is one of the most popular characters in the star wars universe and he still doesn't have his own game. I think a boba fett game would be ridiculously sick and they could do so much with that character. They even made a Jango Fett game and Jango Fett was only in ONE FUCKING MOVIE!

I refuse to live in a world without a Boba Fett game. So this is what needs to be done, from this day forth i will send an e-mail to lucasfilm once every day explaining why there needs to be such a game and i implore you to do the same. Out of all the injustices in this world this is one of the most offensive (at least to me).

2006-09-27T13:25:00.000-06:00

So i started a blog... real exciting.